So the other day I happened to find myself hanging out with some pretty awesome people that live down the block from me. I visited their house for a potluck meal, and the next day we went and played bandshell ball. Both activities were very fun and kind of a social stretch for me, also, I kicked my ankle while playing bandshell ball and also learned how to do somersaults. But, that is neither here nor there.

 The house I visited is where most of the Free Winonans are written, and were many of the writers live. Visiting it struck me because I had the certain impression that as soon as I entered the house I had entered a different reality. A place where everything I considered normal was now weird, and everything odd was now in its right place. There was a completely different shift of values and morals, that didn’t seem to shift in a disturbing way, but in a way that surprised me and told me that there is a different way to live. I dont know if that description makes sense, but I think is the best way I can describe it.

Then last night I was watching the sunset on my front porch with a friend we started talking about the inhabitants of that house. And much to my surprise, they are very normal people. They really enjoy Harry Potter, own Mac computers, use the internet, and love to play the card game Magic!

I mention this as a significant revelation because I think back to how the Christians in Acts were described. They were known and set aside because of the way they acted: they Loved with no logic, gave to any need, were filled with awe, and devoted to prayer. When they saw Christians they knew that there was something different about them, they acted on a different set of values, they had their own reversed reality. Now, two thousand years later, according to most polls, Christians are known for being hypocritical and hateful.

I say all of this not to bash Christians, but to encourage. Look! My response to the house I visited is much like the response those onlookers in Acts had. We as Christians live in a completely different Kingdom than those around us, lets act like it! People should be surprised that we too like Harry Potter and card games, they shouldn’t be surprised when we tell them that we are Christians.

- d a n

Hey ya’ll.  finally, we got the h2o college ministries website up and running.

www.h2ocollegeministries.com

this blog will still be used to post blogs.

This little story, goes to my everlasting shame!  I am not proud of this story, but now that I look back on it, I laugh.  Don’t judge me.  I know that you got stuff too.  I know your poop stinks as well.

Have you ever done something, albeit small or big, that was done in secret, or in darkness and you thought that you could get away with it?  You know, something maybe shameful that you could tuck away and forget about it.  Well, let’s just say I had a good habit of doing that, with Winona State Parking tickets!  I never took them seriously.  The little parking security are ever where in Winona and no matter where you park these days, they ticket you!  Even outside my favority coffee joint.  Well, they would charge you 10-15 dollars per ticket.  They are not enforced by the police department, so I didn’t take them seriously, especially that I already have my degree.  When I was in school, I wouldn’t pay them either, they actually got sent home to pops and he paid for them.

Let’s just say, that over the years, I have some how accumluated, let’s say, about 4 tickets that haven’t been paid.  Since they have accumulated since 2003, I thought I could get away with it without anyone ever knowing.  Sometimes I did it consciously and other times, I meant to pay but just forgot (really???). 

Then one day I walked out to my car to find a nice little surprise.  Ok, let me paint the picture for you a bit better.  Earlier that day, I got some cash for doing some outside pastoral work, which was nice.  I was going to treat myself to a nice round of golf and take my wife out to eat.  It was also 11:45am and I had an important meeting to get to at Noon.  The surprise?  Yes, it was a nicely fitted freakin CAR BOOT!  Those are embarrassing.  Then on top of that, there was a nice blaze orange ticket that covered my whole window on my car.  So, the only way to deal with this is to pay on the spot.  Guess what?  The total fee for the removing of the car boot and the previous 5 tickets was 80!  Guess how much cash I had?  Yup, 80!  Some would say that is God’s provision!  I would say that was God’s Justice and humor!

What did I learn from this?  Simple.  Whatever is done in darkness will be exposed by the light.  Jesus taught us that.  Don’t kid yourselves.  Nothing is hidden.  The simplies thing to do, and the freest way to live, is to get things out into the light.  Otherwise, you may just get a car boot and lose that precious money.

I just read this in Dorothy Day’s autobiography, “The Long Loneliness”.
‘The only answer in this life, to the loneliness we are all bound to feel, is community.  The living together, working together, sharing together, loving God and loving our brother, and living close to him in community so we can show our love for him”
Lately I have been wondering what Christ meant when He said, “I have come so that you may have life in the fullest”.  I have been asking myself how is this even possible when I see the scores of alone, disillusioned middle aged people that come in Mugby Junction for their expensive, daily lattes.  I don’t know exactly what it looks like when Christ promises us a filled life, but I am beginning to realize that Community is the heartbeat of the Christian life.

 Go.
He is calling.
Go.
The mind churns
The body hesitates
But my soul YEARNS to answer.
Go, my child, for I have great plans for you.

I am here.  I am where you’ve called me.

Him.
I am.
He is love.

Why is it so difficult to remember significance?
Significant life moments
The reasons why I am where here at this point in time
My foundation
The step before the next.  These must be grounded in our souls and gently resurfaced as we go forward.

He declares,
Do not worry, my child, for you are wise, you are pure, you are clean, you are ENCOURAGING, you are MY BEAUTIFUL CHILD.  You are gifted with the ability to love with my Love, so you may rise above the worldly jousts of bitterness, judgement, jealousy, anger, negativity…

No more.

I have been removed from familiarity
The place I call home
Close proximity to the known.

But there is beauty in the making – I know there is.  Touch, encouraging words, friendship – they will come in due time, in new dimensions.  I must see with my heart, to see how God will provide me with what I need in new ways.  Quality – He will provide, maybe not in vast amounts, but what He does provide will multiply because His love is abounding.

When one hug equals a multitude of hugs.
When one encouraging word seems like millions.

The joy I have been anticipating while being in Spain is becoming real.

Let it be so!
1 John 2:15-17

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

To sum up my thoughts, I am on a journey of discovering new aspects of myself I never knew existed.  It’s as if I’ve been prepared for an adventure ahead throughout the past few years, and now God has put me here so he could reveal them to me.  Purpose.  I must remember that simply being here is not the end; rather, I am here and so is God.  I cannot propel myself, nor can I make the most of this experience without His guidance.  I am tempted to stray, to be consumed by empty and busy thoughts, but I am alway lead back to Him.  It’s a battle of the mind, especially as I am here without people who know me deeply, but I believe He is leading me to understand Him in a new dimension…

I am understanding the significance of silence, of prayer, of solitude, and of servitude and charity.  I am learning constantly how important it is to be confident in God’s provisions before acting on my own impulses.  And at the same time, I am learning the need to branch out, to take risks, and to come to God when I am weary, confused, and tired.  I can no longer be dormant.  I want to learn of His glory and be used, to not live up to expectations but rather expect God to move.
He will always listen.
Deep peace to you, and I hope all is well.

It is a common thought that the purpose of being a Christian is learning how to not sin.  I think this a seriously debilitating train of thought.  Christ promises us that the closer we walk with him the more we will be aware of the pervasive sin nature in our life.  If anything our sin should appear to be increasing as we grow in our relationship with Christ. 

For me, realizing this has shown me that I need to rethink the way I live my life.  Instead of trying my hardest to not sin, I need to cultivate a relationship with Christ.  Instead of keeping a laundry list of the sins I made that day I have started to think about the amount of time I spend with Christ, how often do I talk with him, how often do I see him, do I let him love me?  Questions that are very important to ask about any relationship but are non-sense when talking about avoidance of actions.

I wanted to tell you guys a little more about ME.  I haven’t shared this with many people, but with recent, pertinent events in my life, I felt that I needed to be more proactive in sharing my story.  Being a ‘miracle baby’ just doesn’t really come up in regular conversation, you know?

My mom’s pregnancy was cut short—so early that she couldn’t even feel me.  Severe bleeding put her in the hospital, on bed rest, for as long as they could draw out her term as long as possible.  When a baby’s development is considered, every day counts.  Realizing that an early birth was inevitable, the doctors informed my parents of ALL of the complications and physical limitations I could (and very likely would) develop as a result of being so premature.  I was faced with the potential of developing cerebral palsy, blindness, detached retinas, respiratory problems, motor function problems, heart problems, and brain hemorrhaging that could result in countless developmental problems, among countless others.  My parents were assured that the neonatologist, nurses and doctors would do all that they could to help me.  They felt helpless—all they could do was hope and pray that I would survive. 

Just prior to my delivery, the nurse pulled my dad aside and asked if he would want me to be a part of a double-blind study for a drug called Surfactant.  He was told that it had no harmful effects and it was a good thing that could help me.  My dad was totally overwhelmed, and had no idea what ‘drug’ meant—but upon the notion that it could help me in my dire state, he signed the form.  That was the first blessing.

I was born on March 21, 1988, at 25 weeks gestation.  I weighed 1 pound 15 ounces, and had a 50/50 chance of surviving.  I was delivered at Abbot Northwestern and immediately transferred to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) Children’s Hospital.   I was brought into a room and the nurse began to administer the ‘drug’ –which was either a vile filled with Surfactant or a placebo, which would do nothing.  The nurse who administered the drug wouldn’t even know what the vile contained—that is the nature of a confidential study.  Well, it so happened that my dad was the only one in the room at the time, and the nurse asked for his assistance in administering the drug.  She took the vile out of the fridge, looked at it, and turning to my dad, said ‘she’s one of the lucky ones.’  She had done this enough times to be able to tell what vile contained the Surfactant and what contained the placebo. 

When a baby is as premature as I was, their lungs are so underdeveloped that they are still fused together.  Surfactant is a lubricant that loosens up a baby’s lungs and expands the alveoli, allowing the baby’s lungs to expand and contract more easily.  It is a fairly simple procedure that consists of administering the Surfactant through a tube threaded down the baby’s trachea—followed by pummeling the baby at different positions to force the lubricant into all of the corners of the lungs.  My dad could tell that it helped because I pinked up immediately—a sign of hope to hold on to.

I wasn’t out of the woods—not even close.  Every day was touch and go—anything could happen at any time.  I ended up having a few major surgeries.  One surgery was to close my Patent Ductus—which is a main artery that connects the blood flow of the mother to the baby.  I was so premature that that artery, which normally closes off on its own, was still open.  I have a battle scar from this surgery—it travels about 6 or 7 inches from the bottom of my left shoulder blade to about mid-way up my back.  My second noticeable battle scar was a mistake.  I was too small for the nurses to get a good IV line in—so they had to use my major vein that ran along the right side of my neck. Either the leads burned me or the clamps dug into my skin—but nevertheless, I have a scar on my neck.  I call it my vampire bite.  = P

I continued to improve, overcoming challenges and obstacles—checking off the list of major complications one by one.  I was in the hospital for three months before my mom was able to take me home.  My parents had to go through a class and become certified before they were allowed to take me home with my oxygen and machines.  They weren’t allowed to leave me alone, or take me out of the house.    My parents are amazing.  I don’t know how they did it.  They sacrificed SO much for me! …and still do.  My mom had to make bi- or tri-weekly trips to Children’s Hospital for check-ups.  My dad was at work and my mom had me—AND my brother (3 years) and my sister (6 years)! 

I got off oxygen when I turned 1 and needed a nebulizer until about age 2.  It’s a machine that produced medicated oxygen flow.  I remember being really proud that I could nebulize myself.  ; )  Anyways, I continued to go in for check-ups, and when I was still young—and had basically proven myself completely ‘normal,’ my parents were contacted by a representative from Ross Laboratories at Abbott Northwestern.  They wanted to know if my parents would be interested in having me, essentially, become a spokesperson for Surfactant (then, finally FDA approved).   My parents were thrilled, and so began my life surrounded by medical professionals, teaching videos, photo shoots for medical magazines.  They would do ‘updates on Mollie,’ advertising the drug Surfactant, every 2-3 years—flying my mom and I out to Ohio, California, and Arizona.  I remember doing a photo shoot with all of my family when I was in 5^th grade—for a calendar.  That was really cool for my siblings to be a part of this unique life experience.  I did magazine photo shoots when I was around 5^th, 7^th, and 9^th grade.  When I was a sophomore in High School, Abbott flew my family and I out to Arizona for a few days.  My family was treated like celebrities (wow, you are Mollie’s sister!!)  ; )  and we were invited to attend a medical conference with more than a thousand medical professionals—all of whom knew me and my story—although they had never actually met me before.  To my surprise, Dale from PR, got up and started talking about Surfactant, neonatal initiatives…and then ME.  He said that, “…after all of these years of being a spokesperson for Surfactant, Mollie and her parents were never compensated for their time or efforts” (as in monetary compensation—everything was always paid for, but we were never paid).  Well, as a conclusion to my work for them (after my sophomore year they could no longer ‘follow me’ because I was too old) they presented me with a college scholarship!  It has been an incredible help in paying for my college education.  I am SOO blessed—God is overwhelmingly good!!

After that event, we continued to be in contact with certain individuals from Ross—sending Christmas cards and periodic updates.  I was never contacted again for publicity—and I melded into LIFE—from High School to college.  My story was pushed further and further from my mind as I began to juggle more priorities and obligations. My prematurity was something that I thought about at the most random times—it was such an AWEsome concept to wrap my head around.  Something that is such a miracle—something that I have evidence of, but growing up—has never been something that I can actually Remember.  I have pictures and accounts of my hospital time—but the knowledge of my story is truly an incredibly thing to comprehend.  It was never something that I was forced to truly re-evaluate…until recently.

Throughout this past year or so, I have had a burning, inner desire to revisit my thoughts about my prematurity.  I can’t make sense of anything – and I have been fervently searching and praying for a direction in life—for God to reveal to me what I am supposed to DO with this experience.  How am I to live my life with true significance—In true thanks for the life that I have been given, despite the odds that pushed so hard against me?   In search for a new connection—a new perspective, I contacted my neonatologist this past November, wanting to spend some time with him and visit the preemies in the NICU.  He happily agreed, but the date we had settled on in early December didn’t work out.  We re-scheduled in late December, just before I left for my semester study abroad in Florence, Italy.  It was amazing!!  My neonatologist, Dr. Hoekstra, is one of the most faith-filled men I have ever met.  He has truly made caring for premature babies his life’s passion.  He, and all of the staff at Children’s, put their ALL into what they do.  Without the care, compassion and love that the doctors, nurses, and parents pour into these tiny lives, these babies would have no will to survive.  God truly is the hands and feet of these medical professionals!!

I took that experience and pondered it in my heart as I readied myself for my independent study abroad.  Going alone, to live in a foreign country for four months, was an unbelievably challenging, extraordinarily rewarding experience.  God provides!  About two months into my time in Italy, to my surprise, I received an email from a woman from Weber Shandwick (a PR organization, working on gathering national coverage on Children’s Hospital and micro-preemies).  She told me that she had contacted Dr. Hoekstra about preemie kids that he would recommend she talk to—and he mentioned me and my recent visit to the NICU.  I was floored—and incredibly excited to be able to share anything that could.  If I had been in the States, I would have been included in People Magazine’s article on micro-preemies, but that was not the case.  The story came out the week that I returned, and although short, it was incredible that such coverage was being given to preemie’s successes in overcoming incredible odds!  What Hope that can be communicated to parents who face raising premature babies!!

Again, to my surprise, I was contacted just this past Thursday, about being a past of Inside Edition’s story on micro-preemies.  This past Monday, I was interviewed and in a photo shoot with 5 other micro-preemies (4 or which were in the People article).  The show will view this Friday night, the 13^th at 5:30pm on the CW, or channel 8 if you have Comcast.   = )

It was incredible to talk with these people, who were all around the same age as me—to share stories, share experiences, to share life.  I was so encouraged to finally be able to talk with others who have faced extraordinary challenges, overcome them, and lived life in the knowledge of surviving these remarkable circumstances.  It was so beautiful to hear these individual’s hearts.   We all truly have a bond of Heart.  We have all been given a unique perspective on life. We all resonate a specific drive for accomplishing, overcoming, and persevering through life with our All.  We all view life as a gift of great significance, precious fragility, and impermanence—as something to be treasured, and something to be given back. We all resonate hearts that are driven towards showing others the same kindness, compassion, and love that we have been shown.  We all feel that a distinct purpose for our lives, even if we don’t know quite what that is.  I desire to live my life in an overflow of love from the heart—a heart made by God, for the purpose of sharing His love with the rest of the world.

Thank you for allowing me to share a bit of myself with you.  God is continuing to develop me, refine me, and guide me in new and exciting directions.  I trust Him and am grateful for the gift of life—truly the Power of God, manifest in faith, hope, and love prevails against all the odds!

Please browse through the pages of this website.  We have updated all the pages and events.  Please check them out.

Awaken is on April 25th.

Breathe in the Park is May 1st.

A Belleview Easter is on April 10th…

MUCH MUCH MORE!

Perspective.  If there is any on thing Jesus tried to show us, it was to “see” the truth.  So much is wrapped up in that word, “see”.  In fact seeing Jesus is seeing the exact representation of God the Father (hebrews 1:3).  Jesus taught us about seeing the Kingdom of God at hand; in fact he stated that the Kingdom of God is within us.  What?  It is a perspective shift, or even better stated, a new paradigm.  Time and time again we read the urgency in Scripture to “consider”, or to “fix your eyes…” or “fix your thoughts…” and so on.  The apostle Paul taught us about a worldly and a spiritual point of view (2 Cor. 5:14-16).  He also taught us that believing in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior means that we are a new creation!  Talk about getting a new perspective (or life…)!

We are worldly.  Then we are spiritual.  We are sinners, but, somehow are now holy (after salvation).  We are to commune with God, but we love ourselves too much.  We want to commune with God (or are we deceiving ourselves?), but we do nothing about it.  We want God, but we want this and that.  We pray and explain to God how tired we are that there is still a distance between you and Him.  You further explain that you are trying “all” that you can in order to change this or that or to get rid of this or that.  Then somewhere in this chaos Jesus speaks and says, “PEACE BE STILL!”

When we are spiritually born we have a longing for God.  There is an internal move (or dance) to want God (words are inadequate to explain this phenomenon).  So we get inot spiritual disciplines because initially we want to please God and to know Him more intimately, but over time they turn into a conditioned experience.  We do them because they will achieve a result.  The typical results that we look for are intimacy with God, holiness or righteousnesss, passion, and spiritual fruit (Gal. 5).  Then the inevitable happens, disciplines, or simply ‘being’ a Christian, turns into a duty and disappointment.  What happened?  We lost perspective.  We just simply want to shrink the distance between us and God.  That is all we truly want (I hope, I must hope).

Rub your eyes.  Get the sleep out of them because I am going to try to point you in the right direction.  Jesus is often described as an author.  Author implies He has complete control of his created beings.  He starts the story and finishes the story.  He creates the scenes, plot, and outcomes.  Jesus is attributed with authoring our salvation, holiness, and faith (heb. 2:10-11; 12:2).  I must quote 12:2, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith…”  He initiated our story of Salvation.  You, in fact, have very little to do with your coming to Salvation.  Jesus pursued you, He called you, He opened your eyes, He saved you, and you acted upon it.  He created a new being in you and sanctified you.  You try your best to be righteous in a worldly view because you are already righteous in the spiritual view because of Him.  But Jesus is the one who even develops your character in making those righteous decisions and perfecting you into His likeness (Phil. 1:3-6) and He is faithful in completing it.  There is a peace that overwhelms me when I understand this (isn’t that called grace?).

Perspective.  What am I trying to say?  If Jesus is the author and perfector of our salvation, holiness and faith, then He is in the process of “shrinking” that distance between us and Him.  If He started a work in you, which He will finish, means He already is in the process of “shrinking” that distance.  Your role is simple, but complex.  Fix your eyes on Jesus, always.  In all things, fix your eyes on Him.  All things slowly fall into place when your eyes are fixed on Jesus.  He is your new perspective!

I was disturbed by a passage the other day that challenged me at my core.  It was an interesting moment because it was one of those days, when everything you encounter, what you see and hear, all seem to be teaching you one specific message.  Ya, that was this day.  It wrecked me. 

So, I am reading a great book, The Jesus Creed (must read), and I was reading early on about The Shema and the Table Fellowship.  The concept was simple, who is around you.  Who do you allow in, who do you keep out.  Who do you eat with?  Who do you associate with?  People simply like you?  Or ‘those’ people?  Pure people or impure people?  Scot McKnight uses some of Jesus’ examples to break that mold in our life.  Especially the one when Jesus went to a party early on and was hanging out with drinkers, cusers, prostitutes and what not.  He got the nickname a “friend of sinners”  and “drunkard”.  I wonder if he got other names that weren’t put into Scripture.  Those who judged Jesus, wouldn’t associate with those people because they weren’t ‘pure’.  They may of associated with them, if they got pure first.  Maybe.

Then from there, I read a story in 2 Samuel chapter 19.  King David, a powerful King, wanted to fulfill a promise that he made with his best friend, who at the time, was the prince of Israel, Jonathan.  Jonathan’s dad was the King (Saul) and David was annointed by God to be the next King.  Saul got jealous and tried to kill David multiple times with no avail.  David promised that his family would have a spot still.  During some time and bloodshed, all of Saul’s house was killed except this one fella, a male in Saul’s family, whose was crippled.  Very awkward type of fella.  David, had him reinstated as royalty and had him eat at the King’s table every day for the rest of his life.  A cripple sitting at the table of the elite.  He was a peasant type of guy, not one of great class.

Now, that you got the background, Mephibosheth (cripple’s name) said this to David, “All my grandfather’s descendents deserved nothing but death from my lord the king, but you gave your servant a place among those who eat at your table.  So what right do I have to make any more appeals to the king?”

Doesn’t seem like much, but, I sort of felt like saying that to God, who has allowed me to sit and eat at His table.  I have deserved nothing but death and He has given me a place among others who eat at His table.  What more can I ask?

Then I thought, what more can I do?  I can invite others to eat at my table.  Do not just associate with those who are my type, who are what I would consider ‘good with God’.  We tend to wait for others to change before we can associate with them.  But with Jesus, that change happened while he associated and ate with them.

we have been invited a table of love.  .::do likewise::.