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I wanted to tell you guys a little more about ME.  I haven’t shared this with many people, but with recent, pertinent events in my life, I felt that I needed to be more proactive in sharing my story.  Being a ‘miracle baby’ just doesn’t really come up in regular conversation, you know?

My mom’s pregnancy was cut short—so early that she couldn’t even feel me.  Severe bleeding put her in the hospital, on bed rest, for as long as they could draw out her term as long as possible.  When a baby’s development is considered, every day counts.  Realizing that an early birth was inevitable, the doctors informed my parents of ALL of the complications and physical limitations I could (and very likely would) develop as a result of being so premature.  I was faced with the potential of developing cerebral palsy, blindness, detached retinas, respiratory problems, motor function problems, heart problems, and brain hemorrhaging that could result in countless developmental problems, among countless others.  My parents were assured that the neonatologist, nurses and doctors would do all that they could to help me.  They felt helpless—all they could do was hope and pray that I would survive. 

Just prior to my delivery, the nurse pulled my dad aside and asked if he would want me to be a part of a double-blind study for a drug called Surfactant.  He was told that it had no harmful effects and it was a good thing that could help me.  My dad was totally overwhelmed, and had no idea what ‘drug’ meant—but upon the notion that it could help me in my dire state, he signed the form.  That was the first blessing.

I was born on March 21, 1988, at 25 weeks gestation.  I weighed 1 pound 15 ounces, and had a 50/50 chance of surviving.  I was delivered at Abbot Northwestern and immediately transferred to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) Children’s Hospital.   I was brought into a room and the nurse began to administer the ‘drug’ –which was either a vile filled with Surfactant or a placebo, which would do nothing.  The nurse who administered the drug wouldn’t even know what the vile contained—that is the nature of a confidential study.  Well, it so happened that my dad was the only one in the room at the time, and the nurse asked for his assistance in administering the drug.  She took the vile out of the fridge, looked at it, and turning to my dad, said ‘she’s one of the lucky ones.’  She had done this enough times to be able to tell what vile contained the Surfactant and what contained the placebo. 

When a baby is as premature as I was, their lungs are so underdeveloped that they are still fused together.  Surfactant is a lubricant that loosens up a baby’s lungs and expands the alveoli, allowing the baby’s lungs to expand and contract more easily.  It is a fairly simple procedure that consists of administering the Surfactant through a tube threaded down the baby’s trachea—followed by pummeling the baby at different positions to force the lubricant into all of the corners of the lungs.  My dad could tell that it helped because I pinked up immediately—a sign of hope to hold on to.

I wasn’t out of the woods—not even close.  Every day was touch and go—anything could happen at any time.  I ended up having a few major surgeries.  One surgery was to close my Patent Ductus—which is a main artery that connects the blood flow of the mother to the baby.  I was so premature that that artery, which normally closes off on its own, was still open.  I have a battle scar from this surgery—it travels about 6 or 7 inches from the bottom of my left shoulder blade to about mid-way up my back.  My second noticeable battle scar was a mistake.  I was too small for the nurses to get a good IV line in—so they had to use my major vein that ran along the right side of my neck. Either the leads burned me or the clamps dug into my skin—but nevertheless, I have a scar on my neck.  I call it my vampire bite.  = P

I continued to improve, overcoming challenges and obstacles—checking off the list of major complications one by one.  I was in the hospital for three months before my mom was able to take me home.  My parents had to go through a class and become certified before they were allowed to take me home with my oxygen and machines.  They weren’t allowed to leave me alone, or take me out of the house.    My parents are amazing.  I don’t know how they did it.  They sacrificed SO much for me! …and still do.  My mom had to make bi- or tri-weekly trips to Children’s Hospital for check-ups.  My dad was at work and my mom had me—AND my brother (3 years) and my sister (6 years)! 

I got off oxygen when I turned 1 and needed a nebulizer until about age 2.  It’s a machine that produced medicated oxygen flow.  I remember being really proud that I could nebulize myself.  ; )  Anyways, I continued to go in for check-ups, and when I was still young—and had basically proven myself completely ‘normal,’ my parents were contacted by a representative from Ross Laboratories at Abbott Northwestern.  They wanted to know if my parents would be interested in having me, essentially, become a spokesperson for Surfactant (then, finally FDA approved).   My parents were thrilled, and so began my life surrounded by medical professionals, teaching videos, photo shoots for medical magazines.  They would do ‘updates on Mollie,’ advertising the drug Surfactant, every 2-3 years—flying my mom and I out to Ohio, California, and Arizona.  I remember doing a photo shoot with all of my family when I was in 5^th grade—for a calendar.  That was really cool for my siblings to be a part of this unique life experience.  I did magazine photo shoots when I was around 5^th, 7^th, and 9^th grade.  When I was a sophomore in High School, Abbott flew my family and I out to Arizona for a few days.  My family was treated like celebrities (wow, you are Mollie’s sister!!)  ; )  and we were invited to attend a medical conference with more than a thousand medical professionals—all of whom knew me and my story—although they had never actually met me before.  To my surprise, Dale from PR, got up and started talking about Surfactant, neonatal initiatives…and then ME.  He said that, “…after all of these years of being a spokesperson for Surfactant, Mollie and her parents were never compensated for their time or efforts” (as in monetary compensation—everything was always paid for, but we were never paid).  Well, as a conclusion to my work for them (after my sophomore year they could no longer ‘follow me’ because I was too old) they presented me with a college scholarship!  It has been an incredible help in paying for my college education.  I am SOO blessed—God is overwhelmingly good!!

After that event, we continued to be in contact with certain individuals from Ross—sending Christmas cards and periodic updates.  I was never contacted again for publicity—and I melded into LIFE—from High School to college.  My story was pushed further and further from my mind as I began to juggle more priorities and obligations. My prematurity was something that I thought about at the most random times—it was such an AWEsome concept to wrap my head around.  Something that is such a miracle—something that I have evidence of, but growing up—has never been something that I can actually Remember.  I have pictures and accounts of my hospital time—but the knowledge of my story is truly an incredibly thing to comprehend.  It was never something that I was forced to truly re-evaluate…until recently.

Throughout this past year or so, I have had a burning, inner desire to revisit my thoughts about my prematurity.  I can’t make sense of anything – and I have been fervently searching and praying for a direction in life—for God to reveal to me what I am supposed to DO with this experience.  How am I to live my life with true significance—In true thanks for the life that I have been given, despite the odds that pushed so hard against me?   In search for a new connection—a new perspective, I contacted my neonatologist this past November, wanting to spend some time with him and visit the preemies in the NICU.  He happily agreed, but the date we had settled on in early December didn’t work out.  We re-scheduled in late December, just before I left for my semester study abroad in Florence, Italy.  It was amazing!!  My neonatologist, Dr. Hoekstra, is one of the most faith-filled men I have ever met.  He has truly made caring for premature babies his life’s passion.  He, and all of the staff at Children’s, put their ALL into what they do.  Without the care, compassion and love that the doctors, nurses, and parents pour into these tiny lives, these babies would have no will to survive.  God truly is the hands and feet of these medical professionals!!

I took that experience and pondered it in my heart as I readied myself for my independent study abroad.  Going alone, to live in a foreign country for four months, was an unbelievably challenging, extraordinarily rewarding experience.  God provides!  About two months into my time in Italy, to my surprise, I received an email from a woman from Weber Shandwick (a PR organization, working on gathering national coverage on Children’s Hospital and micro-preemies).  She told me that she had contacted Dr. Hoekstra about preemie kids that he would recommend she talk to—and he mentioned me and my recent visit to the NICU.  I was floored—and incredibly excited to be able to share anything that could.  If I had been in the States, I would have been included in People Magazine’s article on micro-preemies, but that was not the case.  The story came out the week that I returned, and although short, it was incredible that such coverage was being given to preemie’s successes in overcoming incredible odds!  What Hope that can be communicated to parents who face raising premature babies!!

Again, to my surprise, I was contacted just this past Thursday, about being a past of Inside Edition’s story on micro-preemies.  This past Monday, I was interviewed and in a photo shoot with 5 other micro-preemies (4 or which were in the People article).  The show will view this Friday night, the 13^th at 5:30pm on the CW, or channel 8 if you have Comcast.   = )

It was incredible to talk with these people, who were all around the same age as me—to share stories, share experiences, to share life.  I was so encouraged to finally be able to talk with others who have faced extraordinary challenges, overcome them, and lived life in the knowledge of surviving these remarkable circumstances.  It was so beautiful to hear these individual’s hearts.   We all truly have a bond of Heart.  We have all been given a unique perspective on life. We all resonate a specific drive for accomplishing, overcoming, and persevering through life with our All.  We all view life as a gift of great significance, precious fragility, and impermanence—as something to be treasured, and something to be given back. We all resonate hearts that are driven towards showing others the same kindness, compassion, and love that we have been shown.  We all feel that a distinct purpose for our lives, even if we don’t know quite what that is.  I desire to live my life in an overflow of love from the heart—a heart made by God, for the purpose of sharing His love with the rest of the world.

Thank you for allowing me to share a bit of myself with you.  God is continuing to develop me, refine me, and guide me in new and exciting directions.  I trust Him and am grateful for the gift of life—truly the Power of God, manifest in faith, hope, and love prevails against all the odds!